Once Upon A Time in Wonderland: “Trust Me”

I know after last week I said I wasn’t going to watch anymore of Once Upon A Time in Wonderland. But, I did and I’m not really sure why. Optimism that it could get better? Naveen Andrews as Jafar, the only character I like? To just make a bunch of Once Upon a Time jokes? Because it was said at New York Comic Con that Robin Hood will appear on both shows and I am taking that as his band, including my favorite and officially queer Mulan, will also appear?

Though I’m not sure of my reasons, I watched episode two and I felt about the same way, but it might be growing on me a little bit. It still makes me want to go watch OUAT though.

not even its possible ships are as cool

Not even its possible ships are as cool.

The Aladdin story line picked up a bit. The Genie/Cyrus’ (Peter Gadiot) previous owner had the lamp in Aragbah, but told him to go as far away as he could once Jafar found him. That landed him in Wonderland. Alice (Sophie Lowe), who is taking on much of the Aladdin role, finds the lamp and becomes his master for a while. In the present day Wonderland, Alice and Knave/Will (Michael Socha) are still trying to find Cyrus. Alice never freed Cyrus, like Aladdin did the Genie, so if they find the lamp he will have to come to them. But with wannabe Regina (Emma Rigby), Jafar and the White Rabbit (John Lithgrow) working against them it isn’t going so well. Much of the episode is flashbacks of Alice and Cyrus falling in love.

it's not a pretty picture, I don't like doing it.

“it’s not a pretty picture, I don’t like doing it.”

The combining of Alice in Wonderland and Aladdin is sort of working, but it seems like it is trying to be as unexpected as Sleeping Beauty and Mulan. But, that was random in a totally perfect way and the chemistry between the two character, sexual and otherwise, made is so.  Alice and the Genie, not so much.

Ah but they are at a tavern that looks like the one Regina and Tinkerbell were at last episode. He almost just said I can show you the world. But, the Towering Tum Tum Tree? Couldn’t we have picked a less stupid name for where they hide the lamp? Ah, the room of Jafar’s stuff looks just like the movie.


We’re perfectly unexpected.


Bitches, please.

So Alice and Will head off to the Towering Tum Tum Tree, lolz. They have to cross a lake, but Will can’t swim of course. Alice says they will just have to “ride the ferry” then. But, the ferry is actually a fairy and it turns out Will used to ride her a lot and it ended badly. We also find out he shouldn’t be in Wonderland because the caterpillar has a bounty on his head. The fairy agrees to fly them over the lake, but changes her mind halfway through and this happens:


As a man in this franchise, I am obligated to be this lame.

Alice is able to save him and they got onto a rock, which turns out to be a giant turtle they ride to the other side. Is this show OUAT on mushrooms? Anyway, Alice wants to know what Will did to the fairy and realizes that he is kind of a British asshole. And his accent is so much like Cook’s from Skins, it’s freaking me out.

how did you ge5t

“How did you get like this?” Go back to your own show, Line.

Will does actually apologize to the fairy and says she should let them continue to the Towering Tum Tum Tree, dear god,  because Alice is a good person and needs to find Cyrus. The fairy agrees.

jenny schechte7r

Silver Fairy, aka Jenny Schechter

Cyrus and Alice’s love story seems too conventional and predictable, they even laid in a meadow at one point like a god damn Twilight movie. They started to get a little cute, like a not-as-adorable Snow and Charming that can’t act as well. Or maybe it is the dialogue or the distracting CGI background. I don’t know. They are all right, they are no Snow and Charming or Rumple and Belle, but maybe they are Emma and Graham.

I really want to kiss you, but Edward and Bella are watchin8g

I really want to kiss you but Edward and Bella are watching.

Jafar beats Alice and Will to the tree, but the lamp was never there anyway. Will said earlier the walls have ears in Wonderland and Alice just used this mission to see who they were up against. She thinks it is just Jafar but the real threat is the Red Regina and the rabbit, who got the lamp from its real location. When Alice finds it missing she thinks Cyrus has given up on her, but he sends a note to her. He wants her to leave Wonderland and save herself, but she sends one back saying she is coming for him.


Even my theme music is a Regina wannabe.

Also, Will’s lost love’s name is Anastasia. Did Disney forgot Anastasia is not a Disney movie?


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