American Horror Story: “Burn, Witch, Burn!” (S3Ep5)

I’m beginning to think I should give up on trying to predict what is going to happen one week to the next on AHS: Coven. You know, how last week we left LaLauire (Kathy Bates) all non-threateningly handing out Halloween candy in a maids outfit. Well, this week opened with her making her eldest daughter’s suitor go through her hall of horror. Thankfully, it was not the torture attic. But, a bunch of stuff that is usually a Halloween prank, like a bowl full of eyeballs, but she did it for real. Her three daughters start to make plans to kill her to give themselves a normal life. But, LaLauire overhears and puts them in the torture attic.


But, back in the present she is terrified as Marie’s (Angela Bassett) army of zombies is closing in on the house. The students are rightfully freaked, but hot neighbor Luke (Alexander Dreymon) thinks it is a bunch of neighborhood kids and goes outside to get rid of them. With Fiona (Jessica Lange) and Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) gone, Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) is trying to take control but it isn’t really working.

The children are home alone because Fiona has just found Cordelia at the bar from last episode. Her face is completely burned by whatever that hooded figure threw at her. She is taken to the hospital and Fiona almost assaults a doctor after he tells her Cordelia was blinded by what seems like sulfuric acid. Fiona pops about an entire bottle of pills and then steals more from the hospital storage room, while Cordelia is in the ICU.


Though Fiona’s actions can be played off as being those of a high-out-of-her-mind drug addict, I feel like they all had some sort of meaning about how she actually really cares about Cordelia. She takes her to the hospital, even though she told all the students that they would be handling everything internally. She steals more pills because she can’t handle what is happening. She yells at Hank (Josh Hamilton) for being so useless when he finally does arrive. She also at one point stumbles into the room of another patient, who just gave birth to a still-born daughter. Fiona tells her she has to love the child and make her know it and then brings the child to back to life.

That scene made me think that magic cannot fix the effects of other magic. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actually sulfuric acid that was thrown on Cordelia and that it was either a witch or voodoo spell. Because Fiona was so upset and didn’t just fix it the first chance she got, I’m thinking she can’t.

Back at the boarding school, Nan (Jamie Brewer) ran outside after Hot Guy. He got ax chopped in the back by a zombie. She is able to get him into a car but doesn’t have the keys to start it. Zoe comes to the rescue as classic Zoe, being super dumb and luring the zombies to her with no plan. But, she does eventually find a chainsaw and kills the herd of zombies in a scene that seemed like it belonged more in The Walking Dead. She is also able to kill one of the zombies with just her mind. That action makes Marie, who was just floating above her voodoo ritual space like a totally normal thing fall to the ground. She tells her assistant person that there is real power in the house now. So, Zoe is the next supreme?


Fiona gets back to the house as Nan and Zoe are cleaning up the zombie mess and the Witch Council arrives. Fiona is berated again for being a shitty supreme and letting all kinds of craziness go on while she was there. But, she is able to turn everything around on Myrtle (Francis Conroy). Fiona sees that her hand was burned by the same acid that burned Cordelia, but really Fiona had Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) do that after she convinced her she could be the next supreme. Fiona also convinced the council that Myrtle was in town when Madison (Emma Roberts) disappeared. She, well her body, is still in Spadling’s creepy doll and tea party room, by the way.

The two other members of the council agree that Myrtle should be burned for her crimes. Fiona turns it into a school field trip. Zoe thinks they can’t really be burning, Nan looks terrified and Queenie thinks she might have helped Fiona frame Myrtle. I’m thinking this season is going along with the Murder House rule that nobody that dies stays dead. Myrtle was burned but the final scene is Misty (Lily Rabe) wondering up to her body in all her hippie glory and waking her up.


This episode seemed to improve on the last. Zoe finally did something cool. I’m loving all the Fiona and Cordelia mother-daughter stuff, especially when it is compared to LaLaurie and her daughters. Really, I liked this episode so much I actually found myself caring about the little romance starting between Nan and Luke.


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