Once Upon A Time: “A Curious Thing” (S3Ep19)

In this episode of Once Upon A Time Regina made out with a guy a bunch, two curses were anti-climatically broken within a few minutes and we found out that the Charmings are more idiotic than we thought. Overall, this episode was a not-that-great mess. But there were a few good SwanQueen Family moments and Regina wore a bunch of Evil Queen dresses so it was OK. I don’t expect much from this show anymore.

Again, we start with someone riding a horse through the woods. This time it was Belle (Emilie de Ravin), who then walks into the palace in the Enchanted Forest to find Regina (Lana Parrilla) trying to convince the Charmings that nobody cares that they are pregnant and they don’t need to announce it. Belle agrees saying there is more important stuff going on Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) like the weird father-son morph thing with Rumple (Robert Carlyle). Aurora (Sarah Bogler) and NotMulan (Julian Morris) are about to agree but then Zelena (Rebecca Mader) comes in and turns them into flying monkeys because why not? Zelena than freezes everyone, says she is going to steal the Emma-replacement baby and flies away.


Better fate than some minor characters get

Eight months later in the Enchanted Forest, Snow, Charming (Josh Dallas) and Regina have gather their council in that CGI room around what might be a CGI’ed table to see if any one has found any way to defeat Zelena. Being the idiots they are of course not. They realize that Snow and Charming were able to save Emma (Jennifer Morrison) from the first curse because they were warned by Rumple. They decided they need to go find him and see if he can help. With Robin (Sean Maguire) and Belle there to help them they think they can break into Rumple’s castle where he is being held captive by Zelena.



Meanwhile in Storybrooke,


Apparently, these two are finding their second chances in each other. You know because Emma hasn’t been that for Regina for three season!


Um, hi…

Henry (Jared Gilmore) sees them but he still doesn’t remember that Regina is his mom and cheating on his other mom with this dude she just met. Regina looks super sad after he calls her Madame Mayor. Seriously, SwanQueen and Lana Parrilla’s face are the only reasons I still watch this show.

Regina goes off to meet with the Charmings, who are particularly uncharming to her in this episode. They all realize that to break the curse Henry, this new kid from Brooklyn Henry, needs to believe in magic. Emma says the story book helped her believe. Regina says it must be the key. They don’t know where it went, but Snow says it just appeared to her last time and maybe it will again. So, they go to look through her closet and all the closed jokes blow up Twitter.


Snow has been pregnant for like two years at this point

Back in the Enchanted Forest, there was a lot of annoying Outlaw Queen flirting/fighting and disgustingly cute Snowing scenes. But apart from all of that the heroes resort to asking a crazy man locked in a cage what to do. Rumple tells them to go find Galinda in some other part of the kingdom because she knows the answers. Not sure why he doesn’t but whatever.


Regina’s hair looks great though

Back in Storybrooke, Emma and the gang run into Henry in Granny’s. He wants to know what is going on. Emma tries to lie about her doing something for work, but new Henry is even smarter than old Henry and knows that is bullshit. She has to restore to yelling at him, which does not sit so well with the gang especially Regina. Henry storms off than decides he is going to steal Emma’s car– because some idiot taught him how to drive — and go back to New York. But, Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) finds him and takes him to the docks instead.

Over in Mary Margret’s apartment, the gang is searching for the story book. Emma can’t find it in one box, but the Snow finds it a moment after. She questions Emma alone after asking if she doesn’t want Henry to remember. Emma says she forgot how terrible Storybrooke can be sometimes and is considering taking Henry back to New York after they defeat Zelena.


Obviously Regina is coming too, Mom

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Snow and Charming are able to find Galinda. She tells them all of Zelena’s magic is kept in that ugly ass necklace she has been wearing and only someone with the strongest of light magic can get close enough to destroy it and defeat her. The Charmings realizes that has to be Emma, but she is New York dating that flying monkey. Snow then says they must enact the first curse again, because plot reset. So, these idiots decide to curse themselves. This whole missing year, it’s Snow’s fault!


We suck

Back in Storybrooke, the gang has the story book and is ready to convince Henry that magic is real. They find him at the docks just as a flying monkey is about to attack him, Hook and Smee. We then get a fight scene that was a little too long for how terrible the CGI is. Henry is pretty much yelling WTF at Emma, but she tells him its magic and he has to believe. She hands him the story book and he just remembers. Well that was stupidly easy. And to make it even stupider, he goes to Regina (after calling her Mom right after he called Emma Mom! #SwanQueenFamily) and she kisses him on the forehead after a short interruption by Zelena. And the missing year returns. Wow, that was way too easy.


But look at him and his moms

Cut into that scene, is Snow enacting the first curse back in the Enchanted Forest with Charming and Regina’s help. The two idiots have decides it is a good idea to crush Charming’s heart so Snow can get back to Emma and have her defeat Zelena. So, Snow takes out his heart and crushes it into a cauldron. Like I have said before OUAT, stop trying to make dramatic character deaths in these flashback scenes. Clearly, Charming doesn’t stay dead because a year from that scene he is battling terrible CGI monkeys with his daughter, wife and daughter-in-law on a dock in Storybrooke.

Despite all that stupidity, we are reminded that the actresses on this show can actually be good because Snow and Regina have a nice moment of Snow pleading with Regina to replace Charming’s heart with hers. Instead, Regina is able to break Snow’s heart into two and put half in each of them because they are shared one heart for so long. Vomit, you disgustingly cute Disney straightness.


They also only have one brain between the two of them

Back in Storybrooke, everyone seems to realize that together Emma and Regina will be able to defeat Zelena and stop her from stealing the Charmings’ replace baby. Regina and old Henry have a cute moment of him telling her about New York, but it is ruined by him thinking it is cool that she is dating Robin Hood.


Betrayal, Henry! You used to be SWEN.

Then this happened:


And this:


They were fighting!

And after 20 months of pregnancy, Snow goes into labor.

See you next week.


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