Once Upon A Time: “Kansas” (S3Ep20)

For an action-filled episode that had the current big bad be defeated and a curse almost cast, this was only an all right episode for Once Upon A Time.

We start this episode with Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) being taken to the hospital by Emma (Jennifer Morrison), Charming (Josh Dallas) and Henry (Jared Gilmore) because after 25 months the baby has decided to come out.

That scene was cut with Rumple (Robert Carlyle) spinning gold for Zelena (Rebecca Mader), which she turns into a brain because he is the Scarecrow of her curse. We then flashback for more Zelena back story and humanizing because the show has been humanizing the crap out of its only villain. She is watching Regina (Lana Parrilla) getting taught to make fireballs by Rumple through that portal thing.

no go back I actually like Baby Braids Regina

No go back! I like Baby Braids Regina.

But no we just get more of this:

2

My mom abandoned me. My sister sucks.

OUAT is terrible at having likable sympathetic villains. Except for Regina. But I’m giving all the credit for Regina to Lana Parrilla.

Galinda then walks in and thanks for her turning the Wizard into a monkey. She offers her a place at the Witches Table to meet her real sisters. In actual parallelism and not just a plot reset, Galinda pretty much becomes the Rumple to her Regina. Back in Storybrooke, Zelena is prepping a Buffy-looking spell circle and telling Rumple all about her plans like she has been all season. The last piece she needs is the most innocent person she can find. And what could be more innocent than the baby of the true love idiots?

Snow still hasn’t had the thing, but everyone is gearing up for a battle to protect it. Including Regina and Emma casting a protect spell around her room.

4

True love is the most powerful magic

Regina tells Emma she isn’t she sure if her magic is strong enough to defeat Zelena, but she is still their best chance. That is followed by Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) comes to see what is going on. Emma gets mad at him for not telling her about Zelena’s campaign to stop Captain Swan at all costs steal her magic by cursing him. He says he was just trying to protect her.

5

Charming texted me and said he was nervous

Emma is able to go off and fight Zelena. Charming insists that she take his boyfriend with her. Emma reluctantly agrees, but goes to say goodbye to Reign and Henry first. Old Herny, who is not as annoying yet, tells Emma he believes in her. Regina tells her to go and she will keep Henry safe.

6

#SwanQueenFamily

Emma and Hook pretty walk into a trap because they left all the smart people like Regina and Belle (Emilie de Ravin) behind to protect the idiots. As soon as Emma and Hook get into Zelena’s yard, she forces Rumple to drown Hook in the metal baby pool nearby. Zelena tells Emma to kiss him or he dies. Of course, Emma kisses him. I was mad not only because it was not Regina, but also Emma is the only one with enough light magic to stop the curse.

7

God, the Charmings are dumb

Hook was about as angry as I was about Emma giving up her magic to save him. They head back to the hospital to tell the rest of the hero gang not only did they not defeat Zelena they lost the best weapon they had.

Zelena’s flashbacks were rather slow and boring in comparison to all the craziness happening in Storybrooke. Galinda offers Zelena the west seat at the Witches Table, which controls innocence. Galinda said there is a prophecy that a girl brought to Oz by a tornado would take the seat and become the most powerful witch in the land. Galinda thinks it has to be her. Zelena starts to doubt this and gets all jealous when Dorthy arrives and is clearly more innocent than she is and would make a better candidate.

She also finds out that prophecy said the most powerful witch would only raise after defeating the most wicked witch. Zelena gets Dorthy alone by a well and comes at her with a fireball. Dorthy freaks because fireball! She throws the bucket of water on Zelena and she melts. The show does pull a good gag with Dorthy being like dafuq it was only water.  Also, Zelena just faked that she killed her.

Back in Storybrooke, Snow has had her baby but Zelena is marching to the hospital. She quickly knocks out Robin (Sean Maguire) and his band of Mulan-less men. Belle babels on about true love, but Zelena doesn’t have time for her shit. Regina is the last line of defense but she gets throw against the floor because that is a popular thing this season.

8

Stop hurting Regina!

Zelena quickly freezes Charming, Snow and Dr. Whale and steals the nameless Charming replacement baby. Then Hook and Emma arrive to tell everyone she lost her magic. Regina is cutely, overly concerned. She says now there is no way to defeat Zelena. Henry tells her she can do. Emma realizes her giving true love’s kiss to Henry was light magic and she can do it. Henry calls her a hero and says he believes in her, which was very cute because he said it to Emma early. And with the amount of chemistry between Regina and Emma in this scene, how do people say there is nothing there? Robin walks in a second later and all I’m thinking is, not even close.

9

I hadn’t done a photo of her face yet

Regina, Emma, Charming, Hook and Robin go head over to defeat Zelena. It is a lot more of people getting thrown around by Rumple, until Regina is able to access her light magic and tell Zelena people can change and she isn’t all dark anymore. She knocks her down and takes the ugly ass necklace that contains her magic. Rumple is released from her power, the flying monkeys turn back, Robin gets Regina’s heart and Charming saves replacement baby. But, the hero moment is broken by Rumple trying to kill Zelena.

Regina stops him because her character arch has come full circle. Family trumps all on this show, but also she regrets harming all the people she did and heroes don’t kill people. Zelena looks annoyed and says “So now you’re a hero?”

10

Bitch I might be.

So, the Charmings get reunited and Regina talks Zelena to the jail. She tells her she can change and she is going to give her a second chance, which she should use to unmake her evil. But, Regina also says if she doesn’t she will be there to take her heart and crush it.

But, she doesn’t get a chance to do that because the show decides it did so poorly with Regina’s redemption arch that it isn’t even going to try with Zelena. Rumple comes into the jail with his dagger –which he stole from Belle by distracting her by proposing?! — and stabs her in the stomach with it. She then turns to glass and he shatters her.

11

And this was the first scene I liked her in

She then turns into green smoke that uses the magic necklace to go to the spell circle thing and open up a portal.

OUAT, you killed off your only villain before the season finale and now are having a portal open, which from the promo, Emma falls in because plot reset. I’m only OK with it if Regina falls through this time too or if Mulan and Aurora are on the other side. And who are we even fighting next week? Rumple? That portal? Diaper rashes? Dafaq, OUAT?

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