Once Upon A Time: “The Tale of Two Sisters” (S4Ep01)

So, Once Upon A Time came back to force all its Frozen-crossover and weird Rumple (Robert Carlyle) and Belle (Emilie de Ravin) cuteness on us, while it made Regina (Lana Parrilla) a villain again and didn’t really intertwine the Frozen characters with the existing ones. Welcome back Once Upon A Time, you started just as badly as I thought you would.

The episode opens with the King and Queen of Arendelle on that boat they die on. The Queen puts a message in a bottle saying Anna (Elizabeth Lail) and Elsa (Georgina Haig) have to know the truth. Then they die.

1

Wasting a whole lot of the CGI budget on a scene nobody wanted to see

We meet Elsa and Anna  in Arendelle five years later, after the events of the movie. Thank god. It has only been one episode so I don’t want to be too harsh on these actors, but they seemed to struggle to bring the characters to live, but with this show that was probably everyone else’s fault. Elsa gives Anna their mother’s wedding dress for her to wear for her wedding to Kristoff (Scott Michael Foster). She finds a diary of their mother’s and looks worried. Their parents left for a land called Misthaven because they wanted to find answers about Elsa’s gift.

2 ship name yet

Do they have a ship name yet?

When we finally get to Storybrooke, Regina is running out of Granny’s again. Emma (Jennifer Morrison) chases after her again, telling her that she is sorry. She didn’t know who Marian (Christie Laing) was and she didn’t mean to hurt Regina. Regina calls her Swan the whole time and says even though she didn’t mean to she messed up everything and destroyed her happiness she did because she is the Savior. Emma says Evil Regina was going to kill her. Regina tells her she isn’t that Regina anymore.

3 we already did this

Wait, we already did this

Emma is about to hop in to defend her but Marian comes outside to freak out at Regina and even more when she figures out Regina and Robin Hood (Sean Maguire) were together. Regina storms off. Emma tries to go after her but fricking Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) stops her. Henry (Jared Gilmore, who grew about a foot since last season) is worried but doesn’t think Regina will go evil again because she has come too far and Emma will help her. Agreed, Henry.

4 the show is effing with us right

Elsa is still wandering around Storybrooke. She almost gets hit by a car and freezes it over. The show does a good job of making fun of itsself by having Leroy (Lee Arenberg) run into another scene screaming to all the main characters what happened. He breaks up Hook accusing Emma of avoiding him, which she is because she is too busy leaving messages on Regina’s phone with Henry.

9 I'm not avoiding you I'm just gay

I’m not avoiding you I’m just gay

Regina is hiding out at her house and Robin stops by. He pretty much apologizes that his wife is back and breaks up with her. He does say he knows she isn’t a bad guy anymore unlike his wife who is probably screaming it from a rooftop somewhere. Regina doesn’t take what he says very well. They paralleled her with Elsa a lot, so she accidentally breaks a few mirrors while Elsa is accidentally freezing the town.

The mirror remains Regina of a character the writers have forgotten about since season two. She gets Sydney (Giancarlo Esposito) out of that cell underneath the hospital and has him help her get her happy ending back.

7 who's been checking on him

Has anyone been checking on him? Or feeding him?

I was tempted to gloss over the Rumbelle part completely. All it did was have Rumple recap his story line from last season to Neal’s headstone,  some trying to be cute but really messed up marriage built on a lie and nearly ruined an iconic scene from Beauty and the Beast. Oh, and I’m still mad at Rumple for murdering Zelena, because the writers suck at redemption arches and didn’t even want to try with Zelena after failing so horribly with Regina.

8 stop this

Stop this

Anyway back to Regina, she first plan is to go back in time and find Marian and kill her before Emma can save her. But, she can’t remember who she is and what she did to her. Sydney is able to find her with the mirror and flashback Marian is far nicer to Regina than present Marian is telling her that she feels sorry for her and that she doesn’t have to be a monster. So, flashback Marian is actually watching season four while current Marian is back in season one.

Everyone is being chased around Storybrooke by the snow monster. Elsa finds an old newspaper and sees that Rumple has a necklace she gave to Anna in his shop. In Adrendelle flashbacks, Anna wants to go to Misthaven to figure out what their parents were looking for. She is paralleling Emma a lot in this episode, so she keeps telling Elsa she is not a monster and she is not going to give up on her. Sven (a horribly creepy puppet) and Kristoff make an appearance to tell Elsa Anna left and that Misthaven is also called the Enchanted Forest.

11 I don't know which is worse

Haircut is all the show did to explain why he doesn’t look anything like the original

Back in Storybrooke, Regina ends up in the forest with the rest of the characters that are being chased by the terribly CGI’ed snow monster. It is about to kill Marian, but Regina steps in and kills it. She tells Regina that maybe she was wrong about her. Regina poofs herself away as Emma calls after her. Emma then wanders off from the group and tells Hook she can’t make out with him because she is too worried about Regina.

12 my wife needs me

My wife needs me

To continue the fanfiction vibe Emma and Regina were doing this episode, Emma goes and finds Regina crying in her office. Regina won’t talk or let Emma in. Emma tells her Henry brought her to Storybrooke to bring back the happy endings and that means everyone’s including Regina. She says she will fight for her and holy crap, why aren’t these two canon?

13 fanfic cover

Like come already, show. You even gave us a fanfic cover

Regina decides on a new plan. She can’t get her happy ending because the story book sees her just as the writers do; a villain regardless of what happens. She decides she is going to have to find the writer of the story book and force them to change it so the villain’s win.

I’m guessing that is why Rumple has that hat from Fantasia, which is the only Disney story I don’t know that well. Also, Elsa found Anna’s necklace in Rumple’s shop.

Though I do love snarking about this show, this was an all right episode. The Frozen stuff was pretty good, but I’m annoyed at the show throwing Regina backward down her road of redemption for the fourth time. But, hopefully the Frozen story line and this new curse/plan plays out better than 3b.

 

Advertisements


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s