Once Upon A Time: “White Out” (S4Ep02)

This episode of Once Upon A Time was mostly a mess of everything I hate about this show with a sprinkling of all the reasons why I still watch it. We spent most of our time getting way too long back story in the Enchanted Forest just to be told that Anna (Elizabeth Lail) met Charming (Josh Dallas), while he was still a shepherd. But, multiple members of the Charming family admitted that Henry (Jared Gilmore) has two moms. But also, Regina (Lana Parrilla) was barely in the episode.

Anyway, we start with Elsa (Georgina Haig) getting mad as she comes out of Rumple’s (Robert Carlyle) shop with Anna’s necklace and creating a wall of ice around Storybrooke.

Over in the Enchanted Forest before Charming was a prince — don’t think too much about the timeline, it makes no sense — Anna wanders up to his farm. He knows Kristoff, because sure, but Anna doesn’t tell him her real name.

1 holy jesus hair

Holy Jesus Hair

I really only have two other things to say about that scene. 1) Elizabeth Lail is doing much better at being Anna and 2) who decided to make Bo Peep a warlord?

2

This is a new low

Back in Mary Margaret’s (Ginnifer Goodwin) apartment, which now has five people living in it, she is trying to get replacement baby to bed. Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Charming actually have a lot of good father-daughter moments in this episode and their banter in this scene is one of them. Emma then notices that grown-ass-man Henry is packing up a basket full of chocolate and wine and she is a little confused. He Googled how to get over a break up and is taking the basket to Regina. But, Regina then sends a raven with a note for him not to come, because you know texting would have been weird.

3

It says she just wants the wine…and Emma

He runs off to Granny’s but Emma follows him. Emma pretty much tells him that Regina thinks she is making things better by telling him to stay away for a while for her to get over her break up with Robin Hood (Sean Maguire). It seems like this is also how Emma rationalized Regina not wanting to see her last episode. But before they can bond over their rejected feelings, the power goes out and Charming calls Emma to go investigated with him.

Emma voices her parenting concerns about Henry and he says he understands, but not just because of Emma. Charming’s direct quote: “Henry has two moms, who both put up walls. It sounds like he is taking after the both of you.” Now, I loved that line. But, I am getting really annoyed with the queer baiting because the show runners keep saying none of this stuff is intentional and in the next scene Charming has a little “keep your hands off my daughter” talk with Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) as Emma goes ahead to figure out what is going on.

4

But, you can put your hands wherever you want to on me

Emma walks inside the wall and finds Elsa, who is freaking out and wanting her sister. The idiot men scare her and she traps Emma inside the ice wall with her. They then try to break down the wall with fists and a hook, because you know nobody in this town is excellent at making fireballs or anything. Charming even says that they need magic to break it at one point, but alas Regina does not make an appearance.

Inside the wall, Elsa says she isn’t going to let Emma out and melt the wall until they met her demands and bring her Anna. But, truly she can’t break the wall without Anna there to help her.

5

OK, I like Elsa now too

Hook is annoyingly around and worried about Emma the entire time, like one time Emma says “Dad?” over the radio and Hook takes it and starts talking to her. Anyway, Elsa is much better. She tells Emma that she can’t control her magic without Anna and Emma can’t get warm enough — or because she doesn’t have Regina or both — to use hers. Emma starts freezing to death and the scenes mirror Frozen for a bit but it was still pretty good.

6

Either my wife or you have to try

Emma and Elisa start becoming friends while bonding through their situation and having magic. I really like the little friendship that is blooming between the two of them. That is not say that the show couldn’t have just brought back Ruby or Mulan and continued the friendships Emma had going with them but whatever.

Charming and Hook head to Gold’s shop to try to figure out about the necklace. Belle (Emilie de Ravin) shows a picture of it to Charming. He remembers it from that girl he met back when he was Jesus, but she had been calling herself Joan to protect herself and him.

Charming starts quoting Anna to Elsa through the radio and she starts to believe that she can control her powers on her own. Emma starts waking up, because hey there is a pretty lady holding her hand. Elsa starts to break a hole through the ice and is able to get Emma out. She ends up hugging Hook, but nobody called Regina, so I guess it’s OK.

7

CGI budget increases are directly related to product placement opportunities

Charming and Elsa have a cute little moment about Elsa saving his daughter and him knowing her sister and they are going to find Anna together. Using Bo Peep’s shepherd hook, don’t ask, they are able to look into I don’t even know and hear Anna’s heartbeat. So, she is still alive and the Charmings plus Hook, I guess, are going to work to find her.

All the rest of the story lines are stupid as hell. All we find out with Anna and Jesus Charming in the Enchanted Forest is that he knew Anna, she taught him to fight and his mother’s told Anna Rumple could help her find out about magic. Snow spends the whole episode trying to get the power back on with Granny, Grumpy and that Homophobic A-Hole dwarf.

About 54 minutes into the episode, Henry decides to go talk to Regina after listening to the rest of his family talking about always finding each other and never giving up. He pretty much says the same thing Emma said to her. He doesn’t care if she has given up on herself, he isn’t going to give up on her. She lets him and and they hug and it was great.

8

Would’ve watched an entire episode of this

And Elizabeth Mitchell is the Ice Queen, who right now is working at an ice cream shop. Why has she never been a bad guy before this? Who the hell knows?

I’m staring to like the Frozen characters more and Elsa’s friendship with Emma and Charming. I was really annoyed at the lack of Regina and how the show let Snow get this lame. Next week, looks like a recycling of the plot from The Cricket Game. I’m sure it will be a great time.

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