Once Upon A Time: “The Apprentice” (S4Ep04)

There was a CGI’ed walking broom, Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) had a whole lot of scene time and Regina (Lana Parrilla) was hardly in it. So, this episode was pretty boring.

Disney is trying to bring all its stories regardless how old into this mess, we open with the pre-Rumple (Robert Carlyle) Dark One breaking into the Sorcerer’s Apprentice’s vault.

1

I’ve never seen Fantasia 

So the older Dark One isn’t able to get the golden box thing that Rumple found in that house he burglarized for his honeymoon. Apparently, someone with a heart as dark as Rumple’s should not be able to access it. But, we already know that Rumple has it so great way to simply explain what your A plot is going to be, Once Upon A Time. 

Back in Stroybrooke, Emma (Jennifer Morrison) ask Hook on a date with Henry’s (Jared Gilmore) encouragement. Hook says yes because straightness, babies, Disney! Hook goes to Rumple and gets his hand back because he wants to hold Emma with two hands. Rumple agrees because Hook threatens to tell Belle (Emilie de Ravin) that the dagger she has isn’t the real one. Rumple tells him the hand is from his old self and could turn him into a ruthless pirate again.

Meanwhile:

4

The writers fricking locked us in a vault.

Emma prepares for her date as Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin), Charming (Josh Dallas) and Elsa (Georgina Haig) are looking through census record from after the first curse to try to figure out who the Ice Queen/Snow Queen (Elizabeth Mitchell) is.  Snow and Charming are being all parental. It was kind of cute, but it was funnier when Charming was being all over protective about his secret boyfriend openly dating his daughter.

2

It’s just for show, David

Hook and Emma go out on their date and Hook starts acting like an asshole and blames it on his hand. If I even cared about Captain Swan, the date stuff wasn’t even that cute or good.

3

Maybe I shouldn’t have let Snow dress me

photo

Ya think?

After a good night kiss, blah, in the hallway, Emma comes home to this:

5

Former badass couple, now lame ass parents

With every cool character sidelined in stupid stories this week, our biggest badass is a goofy Scandinavian teenager.

photo 3

This might be stupid

So in the Enchanted Forest, Anna (Elizabeth Lail) finds Rumple to ask about her parents. He knows who she is and why she has come. He says her parents came to see him, but she has to do a favor for him first. He sends her to the Sorcerer’s Apprentice’s house with a vile to put in his tea. She thinks it’s poison and doesn’t. The whole thing was a test or something, the plot was super weak. He needed Anna to confront and overcome the darkness in her heart so he could use her tears to open the gold magic box thing. Anna almost killed him after he said her parents went to the Enchanted Forest to true to find a way to “fix” Elsa because they were afraid of her. He says Elsa will become a monster, just like everyone thinks. Anna clearly disagreed.

She picks up his dagger and realizes she can control him. She tells him to send her back to Arendelle with the magic box and for him to never hurt her and Anna. And he has to obey and is pissed. Anna does end up back in Arendelle and has a brief reunion with Kristoff. I’m not really sure that Rumple was telling Anna the truth about their parents, but she believed him and is too scared to tell Elsa what happened.

On the Storybrooke side of this, Rumple enlists Hook’s help, because he wants his evil hand removed, to help him capture the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. At the apprentice’s house, Rumple traps him in the magical portal thing that comes out of the Fantasia hat.

photo 4

Also, Hook finally changed clothes this episode

So, Hook gets his hook back. Charming and Elsa figure out that the Snow Queen didn’t come through with either of the curse. So with that information and her knowing Emma, she might be one of the few interesting things left on this show.

In in the like E Plot, Will (Michael Socha) broke into the library drunk and started reading Alice in Wonderland. Emma has him in the jail now. Because you know watching Mulan trying to adjust to Storybrooke while trying to come to terms with her sexuality and be happy for her best friends having a baby together wouldn’t have been more interesting than watching a character I don’t care about from the cancelled spin off.

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