Once Upon A Time: “Breaking Glass” (S4Ep05)

This was the gayest Once Upon A Time episode so far and Mulan wasn’t even in it. Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Regina (Lana Parrilla) spent the whole time making up from the fight they had in the season premiere, Elsa (Georgina Haig) pretty much followed them around shouting “now kiss!”, Young Emma meets another budding lesbian teen and the show verbally acknowledged the existence of homosexuality.

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Yes homo!

Elsa and Emma are still trying to figure out who the Snow Queen (Elizabeth Mitchell) is. Will (Michael Socha) is still in the jail being annoying as hell and not adding anything to the story at all. Elsa finds the stalker photos Regina took of Emma and Henry (Jared Gilmore) in the first season in the city records. There is one of her and the Snow Queen at the ice cream shop. Emma doesn’t remember it but hopes Regina can.

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Still locked in this vault

Regina is taking out her frustration at not being able to find a defrost spell for Marian and is taking it out on Sydney (Giancarlo Esposito). She wants him to help her find the Snow Queen so she can force her to do it.

Meanwhile:

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Our story is lame again

Emma and Elsa go to find Regina. Elsa, who couldn’t have borrowed jeans and a sweater from Emma, was able to find a matching purple cloak for her dress. Emma tells Elsa about how she and Regina sort of hated each other when she first arrived. Elsa says is seems like they have come a long way and she is sure they can get back together. Emma says she screwed her over with the whole Marian thing and their break up might have been too bad to recover from.

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But, true love

So, to the incredibly gay flashback.  Young Emma (Abby Ross) is shoplifting from a grocery store in 1998. She is almost caught but is saved by a young Regina look-a-like named Lily (Nicole Munoz/ Christie from Defiance). I don’t know how the writers could have done this and not intended it be gay. Lily felt like a queer character from the moment she was introduced and her sexual tension with Young Emma was like Mulan and Aurora levels. They leave the store but start getting chased by a guy in a car and run away from him. But they escape and go have a romantic picnic by a lake. Lily then decides to break into a lake house to hid from the man chasing her and ask Emma to come with her.

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There has to be a fanfic of Baby Braids Regina and Young Emma meeting this way

Back in Storybrooke, Emma finally goes and checks on Regina in the vault the writers locked her in. Regina doesn’t tell her that she knows where Sydney is. Emma offers to help Regina defrost Marian because she has helped her out a lot but Regina says she doesn’t need her help.

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I don’t want you to have my back, I want you to have me on my back

Out in the car, Elsa starts hearing Anna (Elizabeth Lail) calling for her. She follows her and makes the ice staircase, but it wasn’t Anna it was the Snow Queen and a trap. Emma finds her missing from the car and starts looking for her, assuming she went after the Snow Queen. Regina gets Sydney to lead her to the Snow Queen. They two of them bump into each other in the forest and Regina tells Emma to come with her because even if she tells her no she knows she still will.

Emma and Regina search for the Snow Queen and get out of lot of their feelings, because this is the first moment they have had alone all season. Regina snarks up a storm and Emma acts like a lovable idiot and tells Regina she learns magic best when Regina teaches her. Regina tells her to stop trying to be friends with her to make up for what she did to her by destroying her happiness.  Regina tells her to stop trying to fix ti and learn to life with it, like she has.

In the gayest of flashbacks, Lily and Emma play PlayStation One, call each other special and make a video together. They then promise to stay friends regardless of what happens because they start paralleling Regina and adult Emma like crazy from this point forward. Later we find out, Lily lied to Emma and she really isn’t an orphan but an adopted rich kid mad at her perfect family. Emma feels pretty betrayed and refuses to be her friend anymore or find her late even though she said she would always be her friend.

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Literally thought they were going to kiss

So like usual, Snow (Ginniffer Goodwin) and Charming’s (Josh Dallas) story line was so lame I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it if it was not for one moment between Snow and Will. She finds him on the beach after he escaped from the jail. She introduces herself as the sheriff’s wife and he replies, “You’re married to the blonde?” And without a beat, Snow says, “that’s my daughter, the other sheriff.” It might have taken four years, but the show admitted the existence of homosexuality and gay marriage. It’s 2014 and this shouldn’t have to be a moment for a television show anymore, but hey I’ll take what I can get from this shit show.

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And she was almost cool again, but for like a second

Back in the forest, Emma and Regina continue to snark at each other as they find Elsa’s ice staircase. A snow storm hits and Regina realizes Sydney led them into a trap because he is working for the Snow Queen. The bridge starts to collapse but Emma and Regina are able to run/jump to safety. But, then they are face-to-face with an terribly CGI’ed ice warrior viking thing. They do magic together.

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And defeated it!

But the Snow Queen comes, starts choking them and takes Regina’s mirror, which is all she wanted apparently.

Elsa, who overcame her fear and escaped the trap, comes to add some more magic to the mix. The Snow Queen is impressed, which is probably bad. She then poofs away.

Emma scolds Regina for her not telling her back about Sydney. Gayest line of the week is Regina saying to Emma: “Despite what you wish, you aren’t partners.” And they wasn’t anything overly hetero-normative following it! Emma and Regina continued to fight because Regina thinks Emma wouldn’t have believed she was trying to do good. Elsa tells them they have to make up for the good of Storybrooke, because she trying to fix their relationship like their baby homo niece.

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But, you said I could visit you in San Fran this summer and you’d bring me to Pride

In the Snow Queen’s palace somewhere, she releases Sydney because she only wanted the mirror because Regina filled it with dark magic. The Snow Queen says she wants what she has never had but deserves. Unlike Zelena, who just blurted her plans to anyone who would listen, the Snow Queen is cryptic and says she wants a family that loves her but we have no idea who that is supposed to be or now she is planning to get it.

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Best villain in a while

Regina poofed away from Emma and Elsa in the forest. As they start walking back, Elsa tells her she should have gone after her because Anna taught her if someone is important to you you don’t give up on them. Emma takes her advice and goes to find Regina in the heart vault, because I guess she lives there now. Regina is pissed at first but Emma admits that she is an idiot for how she has been handling their relationship. They say a lot of fanfic dialogue to each other. Emma tells her she doesn’t want to betray her like she did with Lily and she didn’t want her to take her guilt about Marian she wanted her to be her friend. Regina seems shocked and maybe flattered that Emma considered them friends. She says most of the people in Storybrooke are happy go lucky fairy tale characters, but they have troubled pasts that they overcame and they are the only two that can really understand each other.

Emma says she hopes Regina does not try to kill her again. Regina says she doesn’t want to kill her and it was so cute and more romantic than any Snowing, Outlaw Queen or Captain Swan scenes ever are.

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The show needs to let us love each other

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Well, they just made my back story hella gay so maybe there’s a chance

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Ugh they are probably just queerbating us, Miss Swan

In the final scene, the show confirms a fan theory I totally believed. The Snow Queen was a foster mom of Emma’s a some point, but Emma has no memory of it. I’m assuming the Snow Queen stole Emma’s memories of it. No idea why and I hope that is because of an ongoing story arch and not more plot holes. The Snow Queen has actually been a really good villain and I have been pretty surprised that OUAT can still make good villain after the Zelena fail.

 

 

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