Call the Midwife: “Season 6 Episode 8”

How am I supposed to write about this episode without just screaming and posting photos of how great it was? This thing could all be:

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Oh no, don’t you let your voice break while talking about how beautiful this moment is, Jenny Agutter. I can’t handle that right now.

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No, Kate Lamb. You put that sad face away!

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Reggie, you can’t just come for a visit and call Violet ‘mum’ while giving her flowers.

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AHHHHH!

Okay now that I got that out of my system, let’s get on to this review shall we.

One of the first shots was Delia (Kate Lamb) sadly looking through the mail while Emerald Fennell’s credit appeared in its regular spot, which felt like the show saying, ‘don’t worry everything will turn out fine.”

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Nurse Crane (Linda Bassett) tells her not to worry. Much like last episode, Delia is still having trouble believing her. We then get a group lunch scene of everyone talking about how the clinic is getting a family contraceptive clinic too. The women going to that will have to go in through the side door. Valerie (Jennifer Kirby), Trixie (Helen George) and surprising Sister Winifred (Victoria Yeates) point out that is the entrance the unwed mothers use and that doesn’t seem fair. Sister Julienne (Jenny Agutter) tells them that is just how it is going to be.

Throughout that scene Barbara (Charlotte Ritchie) is getting more and more emotional at reading her letter. Once Sister Winifred finally asks what is going on, she tells everyone her father is about to be sent on a mission trip to New Guinea. Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt) launches into how that country can be dangerous for missionaries. But Barbara isn’t worried about. The posting is for three years so he wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. She always wanted her father to officiate her wedding.

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This might have been the best season finale in terms of comedy. My favorite part was when Shelagh (Laura Main) nearly started crying to Trixie about how unfair it was that women have to use the side door for the contraceptive clinic and how that will mess up the schedule in the regular clinic. Nurse Crane takes Shelagh to the kitchen and calms her down. Nurse Crane is concerned that Shelagh has been skipping her clinical appointments and hasn’t attended any mother craft classes. Shelagh said she has just been too busy. Multiple previews of this episode said there was going to be a death and I really thought it was going to be Shelagh or her unborn child.

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We then meet not wanting to be a mother of the week Wilma Goddens, who goes to the contraceptive clinic to get the pill. We saw her earlier getting new buttons for her work clothes from Violet (Annabelle Apsion) and talking about how excited she was to get back to work. She is relieved that she doesn’t have to get permission from her husband because he is an “man’s man.”

Back at Nonnatus, Barbara and Tom announced that they are going to get married in three weeks, while Barbara’s father is passing through London on his way to New Guinea. Everyone is excited and looking through bridal magazines with her. She doesn’t like the modern style but Trixie says if she wants an inexpensive one on short notice she is going to half to settle. Another great moment of someone getting emotional in the midst of a large scene, Delia is trying to be excited but sadly puts down her magazine because Patsy isn’t there and as she had said before she wants nothing more than to marry her.

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The next morning Shelagh comes by to drop off the insulin for her last duty before her maternity leave. She then asks Sister Julienne to be her midwife, because of course she would. But it seemed like Nurse Crane thought they had bonded enough the previous day. Thankfully Barbara notices her disappointment.

The other great comedy bit of this episode is that Violet is going through menopause. Thankfully, Wilma works for a cosmetics company that sells things that can help her. Violet agrees, commenting that she is an excellent saleswoman. Violet has a bit of a break down to Fred (Cliff Parisi) saying she feels useless since she is no longer a mum to her sons or Reggie (Daniel Laurie). Fred comforts her as he fans her with a pamphlet.

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Barbara tells Tom about a wonderful day at the fair with her father, when she was able to go on one ride and chose the carousal. She also nonsense tells him she has an appointment at the family contraceptive clinic. Because it is Barbara, Sister Julienne is working the check in table and then Barbara has a few hilarious scenes with a diaphragm.

Over at the Turners’, Shelagh tells Dr. Turner (Stephan McGann) that she wants to have a home birth and wants him to stop acting like such a doctor and start acting more like any other husband, but she is also failing to act like a regular mother and is being more of a midwife.

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Valerie walks in on Barbara’s disastrous attempt to make her own dress. The rest of Nonnatus takes up a collection to give Barbara the money to buy a proper dress. She picks Nurse Crane to be her bridesmaid, which was the American equivalent of maid of honor. They go to get her a dress and Nurse Crane adorably guards the curtain to stop the attendant from walking in on Barbara.

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Then three dramatic things happen at once. Delia is at Gateways, the real-life lesbian club from 5.7, talking to someone, who we don’t see for a bit too long, about how she used to have somebody who cared about her but she isn’t around anymore. It wasn’t that much more than promo and then it zooms out and we see that she speaking with some random girl, who is dressed in menswear, who says she’s going to call her a cab.

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Wilma has been having weird pains and collapses while getting her kids ready for school. Dr. Turner runs over and sends her to St. Cuthbert’s, where Trixie has been helping out on women’s surgery. Wlima is having blood clots. Trixie goes to speak with her husband and asks him to have their children brought there and if there is anyone else they should call. He tells her she was brought up in the church.

Shelagh also goes into labor and calls Nonnauts. I am sort of sad we didn’t get a scene of someone answering the phone saying, ‘Nonnatus House, midwife speaking’ and Shelagh smiling on the other end. But, Sister Julienne arrives and starts helping Shelagh, who knows she shouldn’t have eaten an entire packet of pink wafers and knows what the gas and air case sounds like.

Tom comes to the hospital to deliver last rights to Wilma. Trixie decides to touch up her makeup, while nearly crying, because she knows how important it was to Wilma and that her children probably never saw her without it. Most of the time I hate Tom and I hate how much Trixie there is in Tom and Barbara’s relationship but I like Tom and Trixie being professional colleagues.

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Shelagh’s labor is taking a while and being incredibly painful, which she knew it was going to be. Sister Julienne tells her she could start singing like the relaxation pamphlet Barbara gave her said. In a perfect being like all the other moms detail, Shelagh didn’t read it. She can’t decided between a song that was the old religious Shelagh or her new having a baby self. Sister Julienne says they are the same person. She then starts singing a song about secret love. Dr. Turner is standing outside the door and picks it up when Shelagh drops off. He then comes into the room.

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Oh damn, that was beautiful. And I wish we would have cut to Delia for like a second. Dr. Turner and Sister Julienne help Shelagh deliver a perfectly healthy baby boy and nobody died, which I was so worried about. The death ended up being Wilma, who succumb to the blood clots from her birth control.

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Trixie heads home with Tom and said she thought the pill was a miracle drug, but she should have known better than to believe in miracles. Tom says he will go check in on the family in the morning. Trixie asks if he is certain, tomorrow is the day before his wedding. He then says it is strange that at one point it could have been them. I nearly groaned but Trixie points out the reasons I actually like Barbara and Tom sometimes. They make way more sense than Tom and Trixie ever did and Tom and Trixie would have never worked out.

Tom says he has high hopes for her and Christopher. Trixie says it is complicated because he has a child. Tom says she has always been good with kids. Dear lord, this episode made me like Tom and Trixie. Also, Christopher’s child is a six-year-old girl. Trixie, why are you even worried?

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Of course, the tea and ice cream with Alexandra, Christopher’s daughter, goes perfectly. She likes Trixie’s nail polish and Trixie says they should go look at some other colors after their ice cream.

Back at Nonnatus, Rev. Arthur Gilbert arrives. He seems to fit with the stories Barbara has told about him. She asked him for advice about how happy he and Barbara’s mother were. He is reluctant to give it. It seemed like Barbara’s mother died when she was rather young and I sort of  wish we went into that a bit more.

Another good comedy bit was Fred and the parish men’s group talking Tom out for his bachelor party since his best man wasn’t arriving until the morning of the wedding. This whole gag might have been because it is the eighth episode of the season and we need to put Tom into an undershirt for no reason. So there you go ladies, who aren’t here for Patsy and Delia:

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As I mentioned earlier, Reggie appears in Violet’s shop with flowers right when she most needs to see him. He attended the wedding with them and everyone else. The wedding was beautiful and I’m a bit glad we didn’t spend too much time going through everyone part of it. Tom and Barbara leave in Nurse Crane’s decorated car. He stops it outside the archway in front of Nonnatus. He tells Barbara to close her eyes and walks her toward Nonnatus. Outside is a carousel, which I guess he rented with his gambling winnings from his bachelor party.

The carousel scene was amazing. Mature Jenny (voiced by Vanessa Redgrave) was giving a great voice over wrapping us up and taking about the changes and how sometimes there is room for tears in the midst of the happiness. Reggie is riding around waving at Fred and Violet. Trixie and Alexandra are riding together and waving at Christopher. Tim and Angela are riding together and waving at their parents and newborn brother. Barbara and Tom are riding on the same horse and kiss.

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We then see Delia sadly walking beside the carousel. She peers toward the archway and sees Patsy (Emerald Fennell) standing in the same spot she was during the “where on earth have you been?” scene from the 2015 Christmas Special. Delia walks over, grabs her hand and pulls her further away. Delia said she didn’t know if she was going to come back. Patsy tells her she got on the boat the day after the funeral and was always intending on coming back. Patsy also says she is never going anywhere without her again, then pulls her toward her and kisses her!

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They finally kissed!

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And it was much longer than I thought it was going to be!

Then Patsy, with her button down and trousers, adorably shoved her hands into her pockets as she followed Delia back to Nonnatus.

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I am so glad none of the main cast died. I actually liked Tom in this episode. I’m liking Trixie and Christopher and the possibility of Trixie becoming a stepmom. The Turners were adorable. Patsy is back! Patsy and Delia kissed. That is a thing this show can do now!

I’ll probably do a few post between now and the 288 days until Christmas, but this is enough to hold me over for a while. I will also be continuing my American Recaps of the episode when they air on PBS, starting on April 2.

 

 

 

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Call The Midwife: “Season 5 Episode 8”

This was the second time this season I have gone into an episode terrified that a character might die. Though, it was only a speculation and a rumor for Episode 6 it was a certainty for Episode 8. And again the speculation, guesses and that photo, left me thinking it was either going to be Trixie or Sister Evangelina.

I had no outbursts of emotion or jumps of fear this time around. Everything was just a sinking feeling that something was about to go wrong. While Episode 6 was scary and shocking and upsetting, Episode 8 was emotionally draining and sad.

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Mature Jenny (voiced by Vanessa Redgrave) did scare me with her opening voice over. She is talking about the mark women leave on the world saying the most common view is their children and who they leave to carry on their legacy. She also talks about women not getting to. During this we are watching Trixie (Helen George) cycle down the street.

Over at the surgery, Dr. Turner (Patrick McGann) and Shelagh (Laura Main) are annoyed that birth control didn’t become as readily available as they thought it would. Still only married mothers can get it. We then cut over to the clinic as one mother is commenting on how wrapped up another baby is. It seemed weird and out of place and then I noticed the mother was Rhoda Mullock (Liz White), from Season 5 Episode 1.

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I’m pretty sure this is the first time a baby of the week mother has returned for another episode and it makes sense that it is for the thalidomide story line, the largest medical issue the show has ever tackled. Susan has been doing well and is able to hold a rattle and a spoon. Rhoda is still having some problems and Shelagh tells her everything will be all right. Dr. Turner then prescribes her a sleeping medication.

Later on, Fred (Cliff Pairsi) and Violet (Annabelle Apsion) run into Tessa, who is a relative of Violet’s, and her son, Mitchell. He just got back from Australia and his fiance is on her way. Tessa and Mitchell go to see Tom (Jack Asthon) because they need to plan a wedding, quickly because Noelle, Mitchell’s fiance, is pregnant. Tom agrees to help.

Next we see Tom, Barbara (Charlotte Richtie) is over at his place. They are planning a date. He wants to go to a movie, but she wants to talk with him and maybe dance. As soon as they kissed, I was thinking, ‘alright very cute, but can we cut to the cool couple.’ And then we cut to Delia (Kate Lamb) and Patsy (Emerald Fennell) in a coffee bar. I love you, Call The Midwife.

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We join them mid-conversation talking about Delia getting a passport. She needs her birth certificate, which her mother is bringing when she comes to visit. Patsy doesn’t look too happy about that fact. Then Delia notices the lady that always comes in and puts gin in her coffee is back. Patsy thinks she looks familiar but doesn’t know where she knows her from.

Back at Nonnatus, the nuns are going through storage boxes that were sent over from the Mother House. One of them contained the wedding dresses each of them wore when they took their vows. That practice has since changed, which is why we didn’t see Sister Mary Cynthia (Bryony Hannah) in one. Sister Evangelina is grumbling about hers and how she looked like a sideshow freak in it.

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Barbara is about to get called out to deliver a baby for a family that live in a cramped flat with fleas that doesn’t have running water. She asks Sister Evangelina, who told her earlier she isn’t doing anything with newborns because of her arm, to come with her. She says she will go but she is only doing the grunt work. Sister Evangelina goes to get water in the hall tap when the baby is born. She looks sad thinking about what she can’t do anymore. When she gets back upstairs, Barbara asks her to give the baby a bath because she is worried the water will get too cold before she is done with the mother. Sister Evangelina doesn’t agree until the power goes out, further proving Barbara’s point. She agrees and is able to do more than she thought she could.

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Sister Evangelina is all happy when they get home. She tells Barbara to find the cake she hid in one of the cabinets. It is missing and Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt) wanders in with a plate blaming the mice. Sister Evangelina gets a little annoyed with her but goes and sits on the chair by the fire. Barbara goes and puts a blanket on her. Sister Evangelina thanks her.

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With all the build up and small character moments and Sister Evangelina being rather nostalgic, it was not hard to guess that she was going to die in her sleep on that chair. The next morning, we see Fred coming in from the garden, talking to himself and making jokes while kind of upbeat music plays. It was a touch that made this episode so sad, but it a completely different way than Episode 6. The levity stops when she doesn’t wake up after he knocks over the fireplace tools.

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When then cut to the Turners. Shelagh answers the phone and walks back into the living room and cries as she tells Dr. Turner he has to go to Nonnatus. I’ll just let the show speak for itself for a moment:

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Dr. Turner tells Sister Julienne (Jenny Agutter) and Sister Monica Joan that it was probably an aneurysm cause by another stroke in her sleep. He says since it was a sudden death, a postmortem will have to be done. Sister Monica Joan then launches into a tearful monologue about how she will not be able to be resurrected like the Lord and have her eyes in the afterlife if her body is cut up. Sister Julienne nearly losses it and tells her they will discuss that side later because they have a lot to do. She ends up not needing one.

Dr. Turner gets home and finds Shelagh crying at the kitchen table. He assumes it is because of Sister Evangelina but that is only part of it. The surgery received a notice to stop prescribing the sleeping medication that he has given to Rhoda Mullock and multiple others. There was also a letter to the editor in The Lancet, the medical journal they are always reading, linking thalidomide, which is in the sleeping medication, to birth defects.

They both freak out for a moment. Dr. Turner says he has given the medication to numerous women and Rhoda wasn’t on it when she gave birth. Also, the letter said there have not been any cases in England, but a few in other parts of Europe.

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They call Sister Julienne, who brings Nurse Crane (Linda Bassett) with her. The Turners say they need to see if there is any truth to their theory and see if it is what caused the problems. Nurse Crane tells Sister Julienne to go home because she has too much to do and send Patsy to help. So, Nurse Crane, Patsy and the Turners search through all the records and try to find out how Rhoda, Ruby Cottingham from Episode 4 and the mother of the boy born without thumbs could have gotten the medication.

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Them researching is cut with the sisters preparing Sister Evangelina for burial and Trixie, Delia and Barbara sewing a wedding dress. Noelle couldn’t find a real one, because she is nine months pregnant. Sister Mary Cynthia said she heard Sister Evangelina offer up her wedding dress for Noelle.

Sister Julienne agreed because of how determined Sister Evangelina was to keeping the vow of poverty, it was why she also refused free flowers and decided to have her layout in a smaller room in Nonnatus instead of a larger room that was offered for free by one of the funeral homes. There is a line past the archway outside of people waiting to see her.

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Nurse Crane and Patsy go around collecting the sleeping medication from everyone. Sister Julienne goes to the coffee bar Patsy and Delia were at earlier and sits with the lady who always puts gin in her coffee because it is Ruby Cottingham. She says she couldn’t take being with her other children anymore and can’t get the thought of her daughter out of her head. Sister Julienne asks her if she ever took the medication. She did and hands her bottle over to Sister Julienne after taking one more and washing it down with gin.

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Back at Nonnatus, Trixie runs into Nurse Crane in the kitchen. Patsy, Delia, Barbara and Tom went out to a pub, so Trixie stayed home. Nurse Crane tells her she looks lonely and asks if she is OK. Trixie starts to cry and then explains that she is and she isn’t even upset that she doesn’t have a man, that seeing Barbara and Tom together doesn’t even make her think about what she could have had. It just makes her realize that they found a place were they belong.

That is a better way of wording what I was trying to say about Trixie last week. It is not just that her three closest friends have been spending more time with their significant others: Delia, Tom and the church. It is that Patsy belongs with Delia, Barbara belongs with Tom and Sister Mary Cynthia belongs with the church. But, Trixie doesn’t know where she belongs. Nurse Crane tells her she will find it.

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We then go to Patsy and Delia getting lunch with Mrs. Busby, in the same restaurant as last time. She is complaining about the cost of rent Delia is having to pay at Nonnatus. Delia says it is fine because if she wants to enroll in a midwifery program, she will have to be in hospital approved housing anyway. Mrs. Busby says she doesn’t understand how she could want to do such messy, personal work. Patsy sounds pretty annoyed when she points out it is what she does.

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Mrs. Busby sounds about the same when she tells her she knows. In about the exact same way as in Episode 1, Patsy scoffs at her and then looks to Delia only to realizes she has given in. But, Patsy doesn’t back down this time. Patsy says Delia needs her birth certificate so she can get a passport because she isn’t going home to Wales for her holiday this year, she is going to Paris with Patsy. Mrs. Busby calls them “thick as thieves” with a mean bent but gives it to Delia saying she is a grown woman. She then tells her not to do anything to make her father cry.

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Well, that didn’t go as crazily as I thought it would, but it seems someone has officially figured out Patsy and Delia. Mrs. Busby was barely on my list of first people to figure it out.

Back at Nonnatus, Shelagh and Tim are going to visit Sister Evangelina and run into Rhoda and Susan Mullock in line. They had gone away for a few days and don’t know about the connection between the sleeping medication and birth defects. Shelagh takes her back to speak with Dr. Turner and they explain everything to her. She wasn’t prescribed the medication but her sister was and she gave her a few.

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Rhoda has a bit of a freak out realizing she did this to her daughter and her family. Dr. Turner tells her that isn’t true. I’m not sure she believed him and I’m not sure Dr. Turner doesn’t think it isn’t his fault.

Mitchell and Noelle have their wedding at the community center. Noelle goes into labor, still wearing Sister Evangelina’s dress, afterward. Sister Mary Cynthia and Trixie deliver the baby successfully. Noelle says the dress is ruined, but Sister Mary Cynthia tells her it just had the best day of its life.

The episode ends with Sister Evangelina’s funeral procession.

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Sgt. Noakes (Ben Chaplan) says people have lined up on every street from Nonnatus to the cemetery and he has blocked off as much traffic as he can. Sister Julienne says the coffin looks sad and plain without any flower. Sister Monica Joan walks out of Nonnatus with Sister Evangelina’s shoes and says they have more of her spirit than a thousand flowers could.

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Last episode, I said this one could not be as emotionally destroying as Season 4 Episode 8 was and it wasn’t. This was an incredibly sad episode, don’t get me wrong. But, it did have a bittersweet feel and ending. Yes, we lost Sister Evangelina but she died happy after spending an evening doing what she loved most. Her legacy will live on in Poplar and everyone will remember what she did for the community. And that is a much better season ending.

Season five will start airing on PBS in the United States on April 3. I’ll be posting different stuff about each of the episodes then because I don’t want to wait until December to write about this show again.

 

 

 

 

 


Once Upon A Time: “Snow Drifts” (S3Ep21) and “There’s No Place Like Home” (S3Ep22)

This two-hour season finale of Once Upon A Time was good and then it was great and then it was horrible. And then it ended horribly.

But before I get to my frustration about the ending no not Frozen, let’s recap this terribly CGI’ed, plot reset adventure.

We start the episode with Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Charming (Josh Dallas) flipping through the story book and telling Henry (Jared Gilmore) and the nameless replacement baby about how they met. Aw, remember season one and how good it was. Now we get scenes with the same character, though not nearly as cool, recapping the first season to other characters. The only important part is that Charming fell in love with Snow when he saw his mother’s ring on her finger.

I would say I should stop complaining because Ruby (Mehgan Ory) was there. But then Emma (Jennifer Morrison) walks up with Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) and Regina (Lana Parrilla) walks up with Robin (Sean Maguire) so you know straightness, Disney, babies, yay…

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When can we ditch the beards?

Hook slips that Emma is running away to New York. Everyone is a confused by that, especially her parents and Regina because Henry is her son too.

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It is too early for your face to be like this

Emma isn’t ready to fully commit to a life with Regina living in Storybrooke forever, so she runs out of the diner. Hook says he will go after her. Henry tells him to take the story book.

After a little more time with his 20-something grandparents and baby uncle, Henry sees the giant column of light being created by Zelena’s time portal. Hook and Emma have some moment and then she sees the column too. She wants to go investigate. Hook and the audience are like probably a bad idea people tend to fall into those a lot. Emma doesn’t even get the chance to get close enough to fall because as soon as the door opens she and Hook are pulled in.

The gang, minus Henry, plus Rumple (Robert Carlyle) and Belle (Emilie de Ravin) go to the jail and find out Zelena is missing. Rumple changes the security footage to make it look like she escaped herself.

Emma and Hook are dropped into the Enchanted Forest. They aren’t sure when at first, but then Emma’s sees a wanted poster for Snow White and knows this has to be shortly before her parents met. Hook says they have to be careful and not change anything to avoid a Back to the Future situation. He also decides she needs a better outfit.

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Still wish Regina got to see this

Hook and Emma wander through the woods for a while and end up at a village. They hide as full evil-music, badass outfit Evil Regina walks out and threatens to kill one of her captives if nobody can tell her information about Snow White.

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That’s better, Regina

Hook hears a carriage coming and pulls Emma off the road. They hide as Charming and Kathryn’s carriage has to stop because of a downed tree. Emma recognizes this as the moment when bandit Snow attacks the carriage and steals the jewels. Emma looks around and sees Snow up in one of the trees. She gets excited and being a dumb Charming breaks a twig. Snow turns to the noise and falls out of the tree. Great, Emma you have been in the past 10 minutes and you already wrecked everything.

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You Charming!

Emma has to explain to Hook how much she just effed everything up. Luckily, someone else was listening too. Rumple appears as the full Dark One, getting a hilarious response from Emma.

At first, he doesn’t believe that they are from the future. Emma tells him he has to help her remain existing because if not she will not be there to break the Evil Queen’s curse so he can find his son. The mention of Baelfire sparks his interest and he offers to take them back to his palace. The story book starts to fade away just like the photo in Back to the Future.

Rumple tells Emma and Hook that Charming and Kathryn are hosting a ball that night. They just need to get Snow there so she can steal Charming’s mom’s ring because that will set into motion the Snowing story line from season one. Rumple uses some crystal ball thing and see that Snow is at the Enchanted Forest’s one tavern trying to get passage on a ship. Rumple agrees to help get the portal back to the future open.

In a sort of funny, but also too long and slightly annoying series of scenes, Hook and Emma have to convince Snow to book passage out of the kingdom on the Jolly Roger. Emma has to distract drunken past Hook while current Hook promises Snow passage on his ship if she steals the ring from the palace. She agrees. Also, in here current Hook gets jealous of Emma showing too much attention to past Hook and Emma and past Hook make out a ton. I cared.

Then, Emma and Hook are hanging outside the palace unable to get inside, but Rumple comes and gives them invitations, fancy clothes and CGI’ed different faces. That is not referenced again so by the end of this mess, I forgot that they didn’t look like themselves.

They are able to get inside and meet more of the endless list of forgotten characters — except Mulan of course — who appear in this episode. King Midas asks who they are and Emma, being forced to think quickly, names them Charles and Leia.

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You’re welcome, Star Wars fans

Emma has some cute moments of getting to live parts of the childhood she missed in the Enchanted Forest. Kathryn is being a bitch like always and orders Charming to go to their room and fetch her different shoes.

Then, evil queen Regina barges into the ballroom. She was invited but her entrance made it seem otherwise. Over in the bedroom, Charming runs into Snow who just climbed the terrible CGI’ed castle and is stealing the ring. He body slams her, she hits him with a jewelry box and climbs out the window. But, Kathryn spots her and goes screaming to everyone that Snow White is in the castle.

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Why couldn’t you have stayed this cool?

Emma and Hook leave the ballroom and find Charming screaming after Snow that he will always find her. Emma has to push one of Regina’s knights out of the way so he doesn’t shoot her but then she finds that Snow dropped the ring. Hook tells Emma to get it to her and he will fight off all the guard that are now on them. But, Emma runs back into the ballroom and gets surrounded by Regina’s guards and ends up in this hopefully-a-future-fanfic situation:

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Emma tries to talk her way out but this Regina gets rather pissed when this person who helped Snow White escape calls her Regina. She then has her guards take her to the dungeon.

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Lolz Regina, those are not her eyes

That was the end of part one and it was way better than I was expecting. Of course, we return with a flashback with Taylor Swift look-a-like Emma and Neal (Michael Raymond-James) in Portland in 2001. There was also some flashbacks to Emma’s childhood at the start of this episode but I missed it because of a thunderstorm warning, but that didn’t matter and neither did this scene except Neal saying you don’t have a home until you miss something. So, moving on.

Back in the alternate reality past Enchanted Forest timeline, Snow walks into that net trap and Charming walks in too creating this part of the Snowing love story. But, it is interrupted by Hook because lol #CaptainCharming. Hook tells Charming Snow doesn’t have his ring Emma does, but she is locked in the Queen’s dungeon. Snow chimes in from the net that she can help them break in because she used to live there.

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No girls allowed

On the way to Regina’s palace, Snow and Charming have all the conversations they did the last time this situation happened. They have to wait until nightfall for Snow to break in. She goes off and Hook and Charming have a nice bonding moment around a campfire, until it is interrupted by Red. She tells them Snow sent her to help get them into the palace by wolfing out and eating all the guards.

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Please don’t leave again

Over in the dungeon, Emma is staring at her parents’ ring and telling what bits and pieces of the story she can to the other woman locked in the dungeon. The other woman talks about losing family and standing up for what is right and its pretty easy to guess that she is Maid Marion, though she never says her name. They are both scheduled to be executed the next day, but Emma isn’t going to let that happen. She picks the lock and breaks both of them out and they join the rescue party and go try to find Snow. Hook is worried about the woman Emma broke out because they weren’t supposed to change anything in the past, but Emma says her life is more important.

Up in Regina’s bedroom, Snow is trying to sneak up on her but it doesn’t go so well. Snow tries to use her dark fairy dust on her but Regina is able to stop her. Snow says she is there to kill her but Regina doesn’t think she has it in her to kill, and I guess this version of Snow doesn’t or at least not yet. Finally after three seasons, Snow and Regina yell at each other for what happened with Cora killing Daniel. Snow says she was just a child and Regina said even children should know that actions have consequences. She has her guards take her and says she will be executed that night.

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A+ sneaking, Snow

The rescue party gets to a window above the part of the castle Regina is about to kill Snow in just in time to see it all happen. Snow gets tied up and Regina unleashes a fireball at her. She goes up in flames, which was dramatic in terms of faking character’s deaths on this show. Obviously, Ginnifer Goodwin is not going to get killed off and the vile of dark fairy dust was shown right when she was being tied up. But, with Ruby bawling and Emma and Hook trying to hide how upset they are it was a pretty well done scene.

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I’m having season one level feels about this

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And this

After that the gang goes to cry around a campfire. Hook tells Emma to just live in the here and now and she’s like ‘wait, I’m still here now.’ So, clearly Snow isn’t really dead. Emma starts getting all excited about starting a search for Snow as a bug starts flying around Hook. Snow said earlier that she would use the dark fairy dust to turn Regina into a bug. So ta-da Charming realizes this, Bug Snow calls her the Blue Fairy (Keegan Tracy Connor) and she turns her back into a human. Emma is so happy she forgets what timeline she is in and hugs Snow. But, she is met with the same look Henry gave Regina at the beginning of 3b, completely disconnection.

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Who da hell are you?

This encounter gives Emma that missing home moment that Neal was talking about in the flashback scene. Snow didn’t look at her like her mother or even the caring roommate she had in season one. It seems pretty clear that Emma is going to stay in Storybrooke and not go back to New York, but the show drags that out for a bit.

Snowing has all of the same scenes with a different twist and Emma gets to see their final scene and she gets all teary about it. Hook says not everyone gets the chance to see their parents fall in love. But, as many people in #queerytales said watch yourself, Disney not everyone’s parents are still living happily ever after like your sickeningly happy, straightness fest. Sorry, this is when the episode started going from great to terrible.

But, Regina said her catchphrase while wearing this:

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She is always the best thing about this show

Emma, Hook and the mystery woman/Marion head back to Rumple’s to go through the portal. Emma decided they should bring the woman with them because Hook said her presence in the Enchanted Forest could cause problems. Emma did have to knock her out and Hook had to carry her because she thought going to the future sounded crazy.

Rumple says he can’t help them because only the person who used the portal can re-open it. He is making a memory potion to forget what Emma told him about the future. He then sends them into his most dangerous magic vault, where they will remain forever unless one of them can use magic.

Hook accuses Emma of not believing in herself and trying to run away and that is why her magic isn’t working. She said she is done running because watching Snow “die” and her not recognizing her made her want to stop running and stay with her family in Storybrooke. Her magic then starts working and she uses the Black Fairy’s wand to open the portal. Rumple jumps into the vault and wants to know what happened to his son after he finds him before he erases his memories. Emma is reluctant to tell him at first but then says that he died a hero and saved everyone. Rumple then drinks the potion and lets Emma go.

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Do we have to keep bringing up Neal?

The rest of this episode sucked, aside from Emma’s cute reunion with her parents when she calls them Mom and Dad and says she is staying in Storybrooke. It was everything I hate about this show whether is it forcing any straight relationship no matter how messed up it is down our throats, shitting on Regina’s character arch or introducing more “villains” for it to humanize the crap out of.

They named the baby Neal.

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After the guy who left their daughter pregnant and in jail

Captain Swan happens.

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Because he traded a ship to find her

Rumbelle gets married.

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Though his greatest act of love was faked

Outlaw Queen gets an adorable family moment. Though I clearly don’t ship this, it took this show three seasons to admit that Regina is not longer a villain, so she deserves some happiness.

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Even if it is not with Emma

Nevermind. Emma wants to introduce the mystery woman/Marion to Regina so she can see that she is not the evil queen anymore, but Robin sees her and has a family reunion capped with a super cute “Mama?” from Roland. And this happens:

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Right in front of Regina

This leads to a heartbroken Regina blaming Emma for wrecking her happy ending just like her mother did all those years ago. Emma says she just wanted to save her life, she didn’t know who she was. I’m just going to let Lana and JMo’s faces speak for themselves here.

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So if you’re keeping score, Snowing gets a happy ending, Rumbelle gets a happy ending, Captain Swan gets a happy ending, Robin Hood and his family get a happy ending and Regina gets her feelings destroyed…again. It has taken three years for this show to admit that Regina isn’t a villain anymore. She was made an outcast in Neverland with only Emma standing by her side. She gave up Henry and saved everyone at the end of 3a. She was an outcast again in Enchanted Forest in this missing year and didn’t have Emma to support her. She defeated Zelena, finally got some happiness and the show destroyed it and seems like it might be throwing her backwards down her redemption road. I don’t think I have been this mad about the finale of anything in a really long time. Not even the Bomb Girls movie ended this badly.

Oh and on top of everything else, this happened:

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No! Frozen?! Disney, stop just no!

OUAT, you already ignore that half your fans are gay now you are going to ignore that we are also 20-somethings who love the Disney classics that come out in the 90s and before that. We don’t want your newest product-producing movie in this show. And isn’t Elsa not even really a villain? That’s not the character to add to a show that already has a problem humanizing its villains too quickly.

I’ll probably write a post expressing my frustration for this season overall, but for now I’m glad to have a break from this show. I’ll see you in the fall, OUAT.