Once Upon A Time: “Broken Heart” (S5Ep10)

Hey you know what I wanted in the middle of Dark Swan story line, which by its name is supposed to be about Emma? Well, there answer is not a shit ton of Hook. While Emma (Jennifer Morrison) hasn’t been a very dark Dark One and hasn’t been a very villainous villain, the show just seemed to give up on that and let Hook hijack the villain spot. I spent most of the episode arguing with my Rumbelle shipper friend and explaining things to my friend who hasn’t watched since season four, so I’m just going to do a good and bad things post for this episode because you ever tried to explain this shit show to someone? It is distracting. So, here are four good and four bad things about “Broken Heart.”

The Good

1 Regina tells it like it is

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After more than a season of the show ignoring the fact that Zelena (Rebecca Mader) murdered Marian, impersonated her and raped Robin (Sean Maguire) to impregnate herself with his child, Regina called her out for it. It was a little too late in the game and the show did have that whole period when Robin was supposed to stay with Zelena, but hey at least it acknowledged that this story line is fucked up

2 Belle breaks up with Rumple

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Belle finally broke up with Rumple because she realized being with him is kinda terrible and always about trying to fix his dark heart. Of course, the show waited until he was made a hero for no reason for us to feel sorry for him not during any of the previous episodes when he was being a manipulative abusive asshole. Can Belle have a story line of her own now?

3 Operation Cobra Part 2

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While everyone decided Emma wasn’t even allowed to help defeat Evil Hair Hook, Henry (Jared Gilmore) got reasonably mad at her for not telling them and not trusting them to help earlier. But, he agreed to help her later in Operation Cobra Part 2 and they were able to bring back everyone’s memories. I’ve really liked Henry since Jared Gilmore became a Grown Ass Man.

4 The explanation of the memory loss curse

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Thankfully the show finally explained how the Camelot story line devalued into the closing scene from the season premiere. After Evil Hair Hook killed Merlin and plotted with Nimue/all the previous Dark Ones to go to Storybrooke and snuff out the light forever, Emma took his and everyone’s memories of the so nobody would know he was the Dark One…wait, what?

The Bad

1 The reasoning for the memory loss curse

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What? The explanation was good, but the reasoning was rather stupid. So, Hook has been the Dark One in Storybrooke all season? Even if he didn’t remember, he still was so shouldn’t he have been acting more like a villain? Also, why did Emma think she had to do everything by herself? Wasn’t it made clear over the last couple seasons that she needs her family a lot?

2 Hero Rumple

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Why is this story line needed? Why did the show essentially remove all the women from its main story line? Wouldn’t it have been so much cooler to see Dark One Emma fighting hero Regina on that boat with the horrible lighting?

3 Everything about the Rape Baby scene

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Despite Regina calling Zelena out for being a psychotic rapist, the episode still had a “sweet” moment of Regina moderating a parental visit with Robin, Zelena and Rape Baby. Also, why was this scene in Mary Margaret’s loft?

4 So much god damn Hook

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There was so much Hook. There was too much Hook. And Rumple had the chance to kill him but now that he is a hero he didn’t. And I was so disappointed.


Once Upon A Time: “Good Form” (S3Ep5)

So, I didn’t post about Once Upon A Time last week. It was boring and was so dude focused I wanted to just rewatch all the Mulan scenes from the episode before. But, this week was far better. There was a lot of Swanqueen. Emma (Jennifer Morrison) probably said “our son” to Regina (Lana Parrilla) about four times, Henry’s (Jared Gilmore) story line was actually interesting and the romance bromance between Charming (Josh Dallas) and Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) got even better.

Henry's only interesting story line ever

You can be interesting Henry, but only this once.

Henry and another lost boy are fighting with sticks but Peter Pan (Robbie Kay) being the psycho that he is tells Henry to make it more dangerous and use a real sword. Henry is able to turn his stick into a sword, because he was the heart of the truest believer. He is taken in by the violence for a moment, but than apologizes to the other boy.

The flashbacks of this episode focus on Hook when he was still Lt. Killian Jones in Victorian England Land, I guess. He is on a Royal Navy ship with his brother as the captain and they have been given a mission by the king to head to a magical land to find something. We already know Hook’s brother is going to die and their last name is Jones, so I was so worried his first name was going to be Davey. But, luckily it was Liam and he just died and the show didn’t introduce Davey Jones.

I don't want to be a weird squid man.

I don’t want to be a weird squid man.

Hook and Charming spend lots of time together letting their (b)romance development and Hook can tell that Charming is going to die in a matter of hours. He tells him he has a way to decode Neal’s star map that they found last episode and is a possibly way out of Neverland. He and his brother left a sextant — all I could think of was sexting the whole time — on Dead Man’s Peak. Charming says he will go with him. He doesn’t care if it kills him as long as it protects his family.

Bromance Level 1000

Bromance: Level 1,000

Emma, Regina and Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) are working on a plan to send a message to Henry, so he doesn’t loss hope that his family is coming. They capture the lost boy Henry was fighting with earlier, but he tells them Henry is too far gone. That sends everyone into a desperate rage. Regina wants to take his heart to guarantee their son gets the message. Emma agrees and lets her, but literally has to tackle Snow out of the way.

Sorry I chose my girlfirend over you, Mom

Sorry I chose my girlfriend over you, Mom.

Regina also has a two-way message mirror. I don’t know where that come from but it made a great Swanqueen opportunity so I’m not going to question it. The lost boy gets the message and mirror to Henry. He sees his moms and grandma, but is worried it might be a trick. His moms try to convince him that it isn’t and they are coming for him. They think he just puts the mirror aside, but he actually throws it on the ground and breaks it.

So much Swanqueen!

So much Swanqueen!

Hook reaches the top of Dead Man’s Peak before the dying Charming, but is met with Pan and an offer. He says if Hook lets Charming die on the peak, he will let Hook and one other person leave the island. The whole episode has been stirring up a Hook and Emma romance, which Charming is totally against and is not in the least bit shocking because it has been a thing for about as long as Sleeping Warrior has.

I killed your brother, now I'm going to kill your boyfriend

I killed your brother, now I’m going for your boyfriend.

Hook ignores Pan’s offer. He finds the magic spring he used to save his brother from Nightshade poisoning the last time he was in Neverland. The water saves Charming from dying, but if he leaves Neverland he is going to die. Men cause about as many problems as children do on this show. Charming says he is willing to stay in Neverland forever if his family doesn’t loss him.

Cured but still utterly useless

Cured, but still utterly useless.

Hook knows Charming is going to die if he leaves Neverland, because it happened to his brother. The King of Victorian England Land? sent the Jones brothers to Neverland to find Nightshade so they could poison the enemy. Hook didn’t find that cool and it causing his brother’s death even less cool. He is the captin of the ship now, which he decides to make a pirate ship and rename it the Jolly Roger.

Orlando Bloom style pirate speech!

Orlando Bloom style pirate speech!

Hook and Charming return to the female heroes, but Hook has to admit they didn’t get the sextant because it was never at that peak anyway. He just needed to get Charming there so he could make him drink the magic water. So, they are no closer to getting off the Island, but at least Henry knows they are coming and Charming is alive, for now.

So, the big teaser for this episode was a shocking kiss. All the main characters make camp in Neverland and Emma and Hook end up paired together. I could do a whole post about how I don’t like promos, but if a show is going to market something as its big shocking moment it shouldn’t be in the promo. The only thing I really retained from last week’s episode was the promo, which includes Emma and Hook kissing. All the fandom thought that couldn’t be the shocker because they already showed us it. My number one fantasy would have been Emma and Regina, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Neither was Hook and Charming. Maybe Mulan and Aurora would appear, because making that canon was actually shocking. But, Emma and Hook? Really?

I don't think OUAT understands the defination of shocking

I don’t think OUAT understands the definition of shocking.

I like this show, but it is really frustrating sometimes. This was a good episode that had lots and lots of problem, but that is what I have learned to expect from OUAT. 


Once Upon A Time: “The Outsider”

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Grade: B+

Airdate: 1/13/12

I was told before I watched this episode of Once Upon A Time that it was weird. After watching it, weird is a good description  It also seems that the show has created more main characters than it can handle, so it keep switching around and giving each one a focus while still trying to squeeze all the other main characters in.

Rumple (Robert Carlyle) and Belle (Emilie de Ravin) were the focus of this episode. It starts with Rumple taking the kidnapped Schmee to the town line. He pours a potion on his hat, gives it back to him and pushes him across. He remembers who he is. Rumple says his experiment was a success and lets him go.

Most of the other characters are at Archie’ s (Raphael Sbrage) funeral. We still don’t know whose body that is and to remind us that it isn’t Archie in the coffin the scene switches to Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) trying to get information about Rumple’s weakness out of Archie. He doesn’t know anything about the dagger but Hook realizes Belle is his weakness.

Belle gets back from the funeral and Rumple tells her he can cross the town line and start looking for his son, Baelfire. He tells her if he pours a potion on a person’s most prized possession they can cross and remember. He only has enough potion for one and plans to use it on Baelfire’s cloak.

Back in the Fairytale World, blue peasant dress Belle is in the tavern. A group of men are going on about heading off to kill a beast called the Yaogua. Dreamy (Lee Arenberg) comes up to Belle and thanks her for her advice because he and Nova are going to run away together. That would have been a good chance to have a encounter between Leroy and Nova/Astrid in Storybrooke, but the show past it up. Dreamy tells Belle she should go and have an adventure. He gives her some fairy dust and she agrees to go. Adventure Belle? I was worried the show was going to try to make Belle badass like it did with Snow White. It didn’t. She was more of a nerdy explorer. Good choice, OUAT.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle is being the farthest thing from badass. She goes into the library and runs into Hook. He tells her he is going to kill her and Rumple. She pushes a bookcase up him and then locks herself in the elevator. She calls Rumple and he comes to save her in the now empty library.

In the Fairytale World, Belle is riding on a cart with her crew of Yaogua killers. She is reading a book about the creature and her crew makes fun of her for it. She tells them the Yaogua will be by a lake and they kick her off the cart. But, she lied to them and the creature is actually in a cave in the mountains. Belle gets there and creature comes out and almost kills her. But, she is saved at the last second by Mulan (Jamie Chung), who has been tracking the creature because it has been attacking her village. The thing runs off, Mulan gets annoyed with Belle and tells her to stay out of her way. The Yaogua is some type of wolf looking thing with a mane of fire. Laughable creature, laughable CGI.

The Charming family and the other characters make a small appearance. At Archie’s wake, Leroy and the other say they want to go back to the Fairytale World because with “Regina” (Lana Parrilla) killing people and the possibility of someone stumbling upon Storybrooke the town isn’t as safe as they thought. Snow (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Emma (Jennifer Morrison) don’t think it is a good idea. Charming (Josh Dallas) seems like he wants to go back.

Anyway, Belle asks Rumple why Hook wants to kill him so badly. He tells her he stole his wife, Malia, and Rumple cut his hand off for it. He tells Belle Malia died and leaves it at that. They get back to find Rumple’s shop destroyed and Baelfire’s cloak missing. On the rooftop across the street Schmee hands it over to Hook. Rumple and Belle get into an fight about what they are going to do to remind us their relationship is unstable. He gives Belle a gun and tells her to wait for him in the library.

Back in the Fairytale World, Belle’s creature finding crew catches up to her and almost throws her down a well because she lied to them. Mulan comes to her rescue again and fights off all the men. She tells Belle she will help with her adventure; Belle can track the creature and she will kill it. So, Mulan is running around the Fairytale World teaming up with and protecting defenseless hot chicks? Well, half of the fandom’s favorite lesbian ‘ship is a lesbian. Please come back, Aurora.

Belle doesn’t listen to Rumple and after finding out that Hook come to Storybrooke on a ship, she goes to the harbor and finds it. She also finds the alive Archie. She tells him to go back into town because she needs to find something. She finds the cloak, but Hook gets the gun, points it at her and tells her Rumple killed Malia. She is able to get away from him, but he finds her on the deck. Then Rumple finds both of them and starts to beat the crap out of Hook as Belle yells for him to stop. I have no idea where Cora is during all of this. I guess she is just letting Hook take care of himself.

Over in what I guess is China of the Fairytale World, Mulan and Belle track down the creature. Mulan was injured in her totally-not-a-girl-crush saving of Belle and can’t kill the thing so Belle has to do it. She is able to get the creature to follow her and dumps water on it. It seems to be injured and writes “you saved me” in the dirt. Belle is slightly confused and pours the fairy dust on it. And it turns into Prince Phillip, who was cursed by Maleficent. Yeah…that makes sense. Oh, this show sometimes.

Anyway, Belle introduces Mulan to Phillip, who says he will help how ever she wants him to. Belle then decides she is going to go back to Rumple, but runs into Regina in her only appearance in the episode. Regina kidnaps Belle as she yells about Rumple, “I will fight for him. I will never stop fighting for him.” Hey, get your own catch phrase.

Back in Storybrooke, Rumple and Belle,who didn’t kill Hook and got Bae’s cloak back, head to the town line. Rumple pours the potion over it and Belle tells him she will be there once he finds Bae and returns.  He crosses the line, keeps his memory and holds Belle’s hand for one last goodbye. But, Belle is shot and falls over the town line. Rumple freaks out and looks up to Hook, who is holding the gun. Belle is alive but lost her memory. Rumples says he will do his worst to Hook, but a car zooms towards them and hits Hook. He appears to be dead. The last shoot is the camera showing us the car is from Pennsylvania.

Excellent ending. Hook might be dead, the episode title “Outsider” has arrived and Belle lost her memory. She would be the most interesting person to loss her memory because she didn’t really have much of a Storybrooke identity. So, if it wasn’t for the weird adventure Belle story line that intertwined with Phillip and Mulan the episode would have received a higher grade.